No More Regrets!

  Maddie and I were eating lunch when she grabbed a little chocolate bar (her Dad bought them of course ;)).  She broke off a little piece and said here ya go Mom!  I was right in the middle of eating my fish taco so this was the ONE time that chocolate didn't sound very appetizing.  I told her no thanks and she quickly replied, "Why because you think you're too fat?"  I thought....well maybe but it hasn't stopped me before...haha!  But then she in her own little Maddie way went on and said, "Mom what if they stop making chocolate like RIGHT NOW and you NEVER get to have any again?  Wouldn't you be sorry you didn't eat it?"

 I drove her and a friend to the pool and on the way home I was thinking about what she said.  How many times have I passed up something and missed my chance?  How many times have I not noticed an amazing opportunity because something like fear or what others would think stopped me in my tracks?

So of course when I got home I not only grabbed one of those little candy bars....but two!!!!  Then I started thinking some more.  How many times do we get confused on what temptations are that may NOT be good for us or miss GOD GLORIFYING opportunities????  For me...it's a daily struggle. 

I did a little research and asked my Heavenly Father to give me a check list on how to make decisions that will only glorify Him.  Here's what He showed me:

1.  Read the Bible and pray.  What does God say to you about it?   Is it Biblical????  Does the Bible speak against it....if so RUN the other direction.

2.  What are your circumstances?  Is God opening doors?  Things don't just happen by chance!!

3.  What is your heart telling you?  Is the Holy Spirit revealing God's plan to you?  If you feel total assurance you will feel God guiding you.

4.  What are other believers telling you?  Do sermons, christian books and music confirm what you are feeling?

5.  My most favorite one and the HARDEST one....STRETCH YOUR FAITH!  Allow God to take His time in showing you. Trust that He will reveal His will when it is time. God doesn’t always answer or give direction on our time-table. He works His own plans in His own way. Trust that He has done this enough to know exactly what you need and when you need it.

I'm Done Living in Fear!

I know we have all had those times in our lives that we have been so focused on what we were afraid of that we missed so many special moments.

When I went to Guatemala over 4 years ago, I had such a fear of flying that I literally spent a good 6 months before the trip worrying, freaking out, trying acupuncture, hypnotism, counseling, etc.   The time and energy I put into worrying was something I can never get back.  I could have used that time sharing with people about how we would be serving, praying for other's needs or helping real life problems.  I'm not saying that phobia's aren't real life....I'm just saying why did I spend so much time focusing on it. 



So....how did the flight actually go????  GREAT!!  It was a little bit of a rough start...of course because I've been telling myself my whole life that I have a fear of small spaces!  I got off and on the airplane like 5 times while the flight attendant looked at me like I was crazy (because I was...haha!)  The woman in front of me arm probably still has fingerprints embedded in it...haha...kind of kidding...kind of not.  Not sure if Raegan is still scarred from watching me fight my demons or if she is proud that I finally sat down and a peace came over me and I knew everything would be okay.  I often joke it was God (and Ativan!).

This year is much different for me.  I'm jumping back on that plane and heading to Guatemala this summer.  I think of the flight for a second then I push it out of my head (quote a little Scarlet O'Hare) and think about that tomorrow...or the day of the flight.  I remind myself that God embraced me that whole trip and where would I be if I had not experience that journey?

My question to you is....What is your fear that is holding you back from truly living the life that you were meant to live?

Funny story about how my minds works.  This morning....a beautiful Saturday morning....I grabbed my cup of coffee and went out on my patio to spend some time with God.  I sat down on a chair and faced the old garage that the farmer owns and is supposed to be tearing it down and I thought, "Well that's distracting and hard to concentrate on God's beauty!"  So then I switched chairs and was seeing the garbage can and the LP tank out of the corner of my eye....again was distracted.  So I closed my eyes and all I experienced was the sunlight on my face...the sounds of the wind and birds chirping and the warmth of sun....and I thought to myself..... When we take out all the distractions in this world and only allow ourselves to experience God there is nothing better.

The words from a hymn I sang as a child came to mind:

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.

Feeling Hypocritical

The worse things about special occasion days are that sometimes we set our expectations so high that we set ourselves up for disappointment.  So knowing this I had no expectations today for Mother's Day except a little tidying up the house before Brian's Mom and Don were coming for a cookout.  At least I didn't think I had expectations.....but when my only son forgets its Happy Mother's Day...guess I still experienced that disppointment that I was trying so hard to avoid. 

You see it's not easy raising an adopted son that has not had the best image of a good mother his whole life.  Don't get me wrong....Mario is a great kid....but he has some resistance (that even he can't quite understand) to being told what to do.  Let me tell you....most days I am the best mom for the job....but some days I'm in tears, frustrated and praying for the magic words to help him understand what his part is in being in a family.  To you parents who have adopted you know there are no magic words and we never give up....we just keep doing our best. 

So I guess I got hurt when I just wanted so badly to hear, "Happy Mother's Day" from him just for that acknowledgement that he appreciates me!  Well that happened.... after his sister told him to say it and he said, "Oops I forgot."

Okay....so here's where I am feeling like a hypocrite today.  I teach my kids to always think of others.  I tell them you are only happy when you are thinking of others. I wear a shirt that says, "It's Not About Me!"  I talk the talk but I didn't walk the walk today.  I cried and felt sorry for myself.  Ya...it wasn't pretty. Why couldn't I have empathized with his life and reasons or just his forgetfulness....why did I have to have it all about me?????    But no I emptied the kitty litter box and the garbage, swept and mopped, 3 loads of laundry and mowed and raked.  I was determined to make it like any other day and not about celebrating me!  I chose this jouney when we adopted an older child....I shouldn't expect appreciation...I have no idea what he must feel like.  My job is to be loving and forgiving and caring and a good role model.

Why didn't I just show grace to my child?  Why did I have to make it about me?  I guess I'm still a work in progress.  I prayed a lot today for God to show me what I needed to learn from this....this song is what began playing when I hit shuffle on my ipod.

Heavenly Father...please help me see people's hearts and not just actions.  Help me forgive them and show grace like you show me.

If we were able to do it all over again!

I have said many times that I am thankful for every little situation that I went through in life because if I hadn't, I wouldn't be exactly where I am right now.  And I have to admit I couldn't be happier with where I am at this moment.  The journey that I'm on today with my God, my husband and my children is so fun to experience and watch it all unfold before my eyes.

But as a mother of some pretty amazing children I can't help but wish that I would have had it all as together at their age as they seem to!

Tyler is so full of life and just "gets it".  Things that I get frustrated over... she sees so clearly.  I have never met anybody as responsible with money and work and her studies as she is!  She loves her family SO much and makes us laugh on a daily basis.  I just want to be her best friend forever!!!!

Then there is Sydney who wants to experience EVERY good thing that there is to experience.  Her huge heart and smile makes you want to be around her all the time.  She's not afraid to jump on a plane by herself and go to London, or work in a camp in California where she knows nobody and instantly is best friends with EVERYBODY!   She truly shows God's love to all people all the time.  I can't get enough of her contagious laugh! 

Raegan's artistic ability and creativity just amazes me!  It keeps her so grounded and unique at least to somebody like me that is hyper and has to copy to create!  I love how she sees life through an artist lens.  Her loyalty to her relationship with God and others is so awesome to witness.   She never caves to peer pressure or walking away from her path she has chosen.  I love just being next to her....especially when she is singing (which is good because it is a continuous thing at home!)

 Then my guy Mario!  He is one amazing kid.  He gives me a run for my money because I'm not used to this "boy thing"....but man he has overcome so much from his past and continues to work so hard to keep growing.  I truly can say that if I experienced a third of what he went through that I would've come out of it as AMAZING as he has.  I probably would have just gone into a dark dark place of personal suffering...BUT NOT MY MARIO!  He seeks daily to find strength from his Savior to recognize what he needs to do to keep being the child of God that he is!!!!  Love him so much it hurts!  He deserves many medals!!!!

And lastly there is Madison who has the heart as big as the universe!  Now is the time where most kids are going through the drama of 6th grade but she is breezing through with many wonderful friends.   She NEVER truly NEVER says a bad statement about anybody!  She gets upset if I make fun of someone on TV!!!!  Love that protective side of her.  This girl is truly the most loyal kid in the world.  Her unique sense of humor makes supper time always a sitcom experience.  Can't get enough of her!

 

 

 

Thank you God for letting me be their Mommy!

I want to do this EVERYDAY!!!

I LOVE this question... "What are you doing right now that requires faith?"

When I read this question last night I really stopped and thought about it.  I have some goals in the future that requires a lot of faith....but what about today?  Wouldn't it be awesome if everyday we step out in faith just because we trust Jesus THAT much????

One of my biggest struggles I deal with is being a worrier....HELLO......I am a mother...that's what we do!  :))))  I have to admit, I have gotten much better than I used to be BUT I have a lonnnnnnggggg way to go. 

On the way to church today my husband and I were talking because we got a free 1 car garage.  So excited because we have no garage right now...but stressing a little because we have to pay $1200 to have it moved and $800 to pour a concrete pad.  On top of that we are buy our plane tickets for our mission trip.  My first instinct was to start worrying and planning and figuring out how to come up with it all at once.  Then I literally felt God just telling me to calm down and ask Him to handle it.  SO...that's what I did.  I prayed and I know it will all work out.  Didn't really give it another thought until right now as I am writing this....haha....I'll keep talking so I don't take that living in fear back.

So my question for you is, "What are you doing right now that requires faith?"  I wanna know....REALLY....I want to celebrate with you!  I want to pray for each one of us to know that God is our protector, provider and redeemer of our own fears and insecurities.

Ephesians 2:8

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God--

Radical

I started reading "Radical" by David Platt....as if Francis Chan wasn't inspiring enough!!!  Oh my word...I am only done with the first chapter and he is just cracking me up!  Everything he is saying God is also showing me simultaneously! 

Here is the part that made me "LOL" because it is so stinking true!

He was speaking about when Jesus asked His followers to follow Him and not even say good-bye to their families.   What about now???  What if Jesus asked you now to give up EVERYTHING and follow him?

So we say things like this:

"Jesus didn't literally mean to sell all we have and give it to the poor...right????" 

"What He really meant was......"

 "And this is where we begin to start redefining Christianity.  We are giving in to the dangerous temptation to take the Jesus of the Bible and twist Him into a version of Jesus we are more comfortable with.

A nice, middle-class American Jesus."   (Funny huh?)

 Seriously....haven't we just made excuses on top of excuses to rationalize our own selfish behavior. 

• We "deserve" nice things.
• Our kids need to be have things be "all about them."
• I give and serve but not until it hurts!
• Why should we take care of people in other countries....we need to take care of "our own".

In Mark 10:21 it says,

²¹ And Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and said to him, “You lack one thing: go, sell all that you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.” 

What David Platt explains is that Jesus is not trying to take EVERYTHING away from us to strip away all man's pleasure.  Instead He is offering us to not only help the poor but He is giving us an eternal treasure!

So it's up to us to decide.  Is it more important to have everything during our short time on earth or would it be a better investment to have a love for others in need and give EVERYTHING you have to help them survive and know Jesus.

Heavenly Father....please help me remember daily that our life on this earth is not about us but it's that you gave us this life to Glorify Your Kingdom.  Please allow me to have the strength to give up anything that is stopping me from helping others know you.  Amen