If you read back a few posts ago I wrote I'm done living in FEAR. I spoke about my EXTREME fear of flying. I should explain...the flying part isn't what I'm afraid of ....it's the being CLOSED IN. I used to fly all the time and I LOVED IT....then I got on the St. Louis Arch and experience my first Panic Attack.
If you have never experienced a panic attack (and I truly hope you haven't)....the only way I know how to describe it is this. You know how you feel for the second when someone jumps out and scares you....that fight or flight moment....your head feels like you are going to lose all sense of control...and your heart races so extreme so you seriously think you are going to DIE??? Crippling fear like you can't imagine. Well....that's what a panic attack feels like except it goes on and ON AND ON!! Stop and REALLY think about the last time someone startled you BIG TIME....now picture that lasting a 1/2 an hour.
I often joke about the last time I flew that I actually did it with the help of God and Ativan!!! WELL....God spoke to me the other day....AND I KNOW THIS WAS GOD BECAUSE I NEVER WOULD'VE COME UP WITH THIS ONE!!!! He said....If you truly trust me Jenny....you wouldn't need the Ativan! SERIOUSLY GOD??? DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE ASKING OF ME???
So I thought....well...of course He does...He's GOD! haha! And I have been praying the He will deepen my relationship with Him....so WHY AM I SO SURPRISED????
I want to do this SO BADLY! I want to show Him and MYSELF that I TRUST God that much!!!!
But then I start making excuses like....what if this is Satan just trying to trip me up on my way to serve in Guatemala? And.... Well...I could just carry it with me "just in case".
Is THAT how I want to TRUST JESUS....have a "back up plan" if He doesn't come through????
I recently read that WORRYING implies that you don't TRUST God is big enough to HANDLE EVERYTHING.
Do I truly TRUST that God is BIGGER than a panic attack? Please pray that I can experience His perfect love. And please let me know how I can pray for you in your journey too!
Amen! We don't need a "back up plan" when we TRUST in JESUS!
ReplyDeleteWe have lived many years of our lives on a limited income (with a dozen children), and the Lord told us 27 years ago to cut up our credit cards. We have often been told, "But, you should have a credit card in case of an emergency." No. All we need is Jesus, in case of an emergency. :)
Praying that the Lord gives you the strength and JOY to fly to Guatemala without a backup plan.
Laurel
mama of 12